Friday, November 18, 2011

You Might Be a Squirrel If....

1.  Your husband gives your date of birth when I ask you for same along with the correct spelling of your last name as a patient identifier before I administer your meds, and
2.  He also assures me, as you describe you 10/10 pain, that you "have a really high pain threshold and tolerance to pain meds" and
3.  I had to ask you to get off your cell phone when I  entered your darkened room.

The next guy
1. You are slumped dramatically in the chair and state you have "pain everywhere", you always have pain and that your foot injury from three weeks ago "brings tears to your eyes".  Your foot injury that you never had checked, and
2.  The only medication you can take is Dilaudid, your pain doctor only gives you a 'script for 12 at a time, you took your last Dilaudid yesterday, and
3.  You didn't volunteer any of this; I had to pry it out of you, and
4.  Your pain is "15/10". 

6 comments:

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

So much BS you hear every day. I wonder if these people actually ever have real pain. I get so sick of hearing about all the Seekers, they make life for pain patients very difficult.

SimplySweeter said...

You.
Should.
Have.
Bought.
A.
SQUIRREL!

lmao

EDNurseasauras said...

Yeah, I don't need any squirrels thanks. You and I simply pay for their bogus ER visits so they can live fat and sassy doing a bunch of nothing

ob said...

I politely yelled at a patient to get off her phone in the delivery suite after I heard her tell the boyfriend that "yeah I told them it was a 10" and then she laughed. I understand whar you is coming from velocinurser.

EDNurseasauras said...

"velocinurser"...LOVE IT and I'm totally stealing it. Stay tuned for Nurse Raptor Rap, haha!

hoodnurse said...

I'm now almost always immediately suspicious of any layperson who pulls the "I have a really high pain tolerance" card. Maybe because it always seems to come out of the mouths of seemingly meth-ed out middle aged women complaining of some kind of bogus back pain and tweaking the hell out all over my triage area.