I haven't actually run out of gas, just motivation to finish pretty much anything I start. I have volumes of posts that I can't quite….wrap up. Or can't remember why I started them in the first place. Or that I think are stupid…mostly that. As well as a shit load that I haven't even started yet.
I wrote a book, of sorts, culled mainly from some of my more ridiculous observations of my 42 years working in health care. I suppose it's entertaining. It ends somewhat abruptly because I can't finish that, either. To quote John Irving, "A sentence boiled in her, but she can not yet see it clearly". (The World According to Garp)
I am down to two jobs, both per diem. I dropped BWOM Hospital out of the rotation about 6 months after I started….5 months later the Director called me to ask if I wanted any shifts for the holidays. Yeah, no. So, quit by default. I tried to make it until the first of this year just so I could put on any future resume that I had worked there for a year, but….didn't finish out that way. Although actual hire date was in December, my paperwork said January 2014. So 11 months. Whatever.
I have not worked at the Med Center in about 5 months, so I expect I will be getting the inevitable call about holiday shifts, or if I want to work there anymore. Actually I would, but 1) I refuse to work 12 hour shifts, and 2) my badge, computer access, and payroll codes no longer work. That is a potentially ominous sign, but I lack the initiative to rectify it. Or give them my updated BLS, PALS, ACLS cards and flu shot affidavit. So I suppose that the writing is on the wall.
At Pseudocity, there is no paucity of available shift work as I prefer 3-11. I will accept a rare 12 hour shift and avoid the 11A-7 P as much as possible. The added incentive to work extra on designated premium shifts means that some weeks I wind up, through requested switches or coming in a bit early on a weekend with about 8-12 hours of DOUBLE TIME pay. I have never heard of an ER paying double time, but what the heck, it will not last too much longer as the very young orientees will be finishing their precepted shifts just in time to eliminate all double time for the holidays.
Selecting shifts is easy as my boss is a procrastinator, and filling in the per diems like me is a piece of cake. "What days do you want to work?" is texted from my boss a couple of times a month, and I just tell her, "Oh, Mon, Wed, Fri, Tues, Thurs Sat on the next sched", or "Whatever, your choice", or "Any day but the 13th, weekend of the 20th, or ___ date because I have a dental appointment". This seems to work quite well for both of us. Keep in mind that I also get multiple daily texts or calls from panicked charge nurses who ask me to come in early ("PREMUIM PAY!!!"), stay late, work an extra day, cover a sick colleague; plus requests from nurses who need last minute time off for a kids' game, recital, or spousal liver transplant. I can be accommodating, to a point, but you know, sometimes the money is not worth the wear and tear on the body. I am so much better at saying no these days, while still retaining my cool kid status.
But it is so busy. Almost too busy when you run from task to task and just try to get stuff done, with my aching knees, shoulder pains, and need to actually toilet from time to time. Which is why I don't get much done at home; I sleep as late as I want, sometimes until 9 AM. Have coffee and a leisurely breakfast, then take the dog out for minimum of an hour, sometimes 2. By that time, I need to get ready to go to work. The job is not 4 minutes away anymore, so no more jumping into the shower 40 minutes before I'm scheduled to be at work. That cuts in on my motivation too.
Well, I guess that's all the update I have for now, if anyone still stops by. The porch lights are on. My motivation for this post? Aesop has "dormant" next to my blog link.