I brought a patient in from triage and gave her to one of the Kids on the medical side. "This woman is the prototype for Debbie Downer and Eeyore".
"Every question leads to a tale of sorrow and woe. Ask her any question. Anything. It will be the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone. Ask about allergies? I get a list of 20, and I had to hear about Every. Single. Reaction. Each reaction lead to another set of complications. Each complication to a debilitating condition. Each condition to an endless series of Unfortunate Events. And then there was a fire in which all of her oxycodone was burnt up. It took me 39 minutes to triage her. I feel like all the joy has been sucked out of me and all the fairies are dead. "
"So you're saying I'll never smile again. Damn"