Saturday, December 29, 2007

Idiotic Names

Maybe it's because of all these idiot celebrities naming their kids pretentiously (did it start with Dweezil Zappa?), but I have had a rash of stupidly spelled names of late. Stupid because these kids are going to spend the rest of their lives spelling their names.

Here are a few samples of stupidity:
Jewelly pronounced "Julie"
Pshawn, the "P" is silent (no pshit)
Mykele pronounced Michael
Linsy (did you mean "LINDSAY?")

Here is a selection of some plain Stupid Names:
Crystal Snow (the Ice Queen?)
King (except for my uncle, and the middle names of several of my male relatives--it IS a family name)
Badger (hahahaha! "BADGERS? We don't need no stinkin' badgers!")
Audra and Jared (if you are over 40, remember "The Big Valley" TV show?)
Marvolene (WTF?)
Maverick ("did your mother not like you?")
Tyler Harley Davidson (a girl, yikes)
Summer, Winter, Spring and Autumn (not from the same family)

Names Guaranteed to Get Your Kid Beat Up:
Boral (combination of Bob and Coral?)
Third (yikes)
Quita (could never finish anything?)
Juicey (no lie)
Storey (Ah, the Story Girl. Welcome!)
...and to go with the above, Anne of Green Gables Johnson
Shiclet (accent on the last syllable; "Chiclet?")

Here's a doozy or two from when I used to babysit a million years ago:
Tamsen Olivia Freelove Jones. Yikes!
Teena Bean (just sounds weird)
Peter Lapin (Lapin means rabbit in French)
Bambi. Yup. Went to high school with her.

You need a license to drive a car, but anyone can have a kid; and they can name said kid anyting they want to