Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Bitch Box...Take a Number

For some reason, our CEO of less than a year thought it was a good idea to have a suggestion board on the hospital intranet web page. It is pretty entertaining; it is actually more of a bitch board. I am not sure what the educational level is of most of the individuals who post, but let's just say the spelling and grammar are not a priority. Neither is respectful, well thought out posting. Mostly it is about whining. I read it every day because eventually, the Clipboard Peeps are going to get tired of disrespectful and frivolous whining and pull the plug. For example:

"During the day the macaroni and cheese is $3.00 for a large scoop and $1.50 for a small scoop. The other evening I only wanted a little, so I took a small scoop. I was charged $3.00. When I pointed out to the cashier that the sign said it was less for a small scoop, she said it was $3.00 no matter how much you took! This is unfair; it should be a consistent price for both lunch and dinner!"

The food services manager replied that it was all a misunderstanding (yeah, a $1.50 misunderstanding in the cashier's pocket), that the evening cashier had been spoken to and that if the individual would present herself to the cafeteria she would get a refund and a free meal voucher. Score! One of the easier problems to solve.

Someone (and I have my suspicions) from our own ER wrote the following:

"I wish that someone would reconsider installing WiFI in our department. We have both outpatients and ER patients, many of whom are here for hours and hours with nothing to do but read a bunch of old National Geographics and watch a dinky old TV. This is unacceptable and crappy customer service. Since we are required to have closed captioning, the TV is so old that the captioning takes up half the screen. Besides that the TV is on an old rickety table that is a danger to young unruly kidz (actual spelling)and you can only see the TV anyway if you are right in front of it"

The response came from one of the undersecretary Suits in Charge of Stupid Shit:
"We appreciate that your facility is something of a unique entity. While we have not budgeted for the installation of WiFi for this fiscal year, you will be getting a new, larger, wall mounted television in the near future". I call that...not exactly compromise, but we do get something. I hope that the Mother Ship day shift won't be missing ESPN on their cafeteria TV much.

Here's another:
"What is the policy on charge pay? It seems that some of the managers give it out, and some don't. If a manager is on during the day and up to her butt (actually written) in paper work or in meetings with no real understanding of what is going on with the floor, she is not actually managing, now is she? The person who is dealing with the day to day, admissions, and generally overseeing of the floor should be compensated for taking on the added responsibility"

Of course the Head Cheese, that is, the Big Stinky Cheese, wanted name, rank and serial number of the complainant. No resolution that I can see, since most of the managers (who haven't been fired) have been looking for ways to cut, cut, cut. Let's cheat nurses out of charge pay, good idea. Excellent leadership.

This was another nugget of awesomeness:
"How many calories are in the large chocolate chip cookies sold in the lobby coffee shop?"


And because nobody has the balls to say they don't like it, this little gem:
" What is the policy on co-workers peddling their own or their children's or grandchildren's fundaisers? I should not be subjigated to the constant baerage (actual spelling on both) of cookies, candles, wrapping paper or lottery tickets when I come to work".

Douchie complainer was referred to current policy, chapter and verse. And advised to grow a pair and just say no.

One individual, having obviously submitted several complaints on the same issue, the new health insurance provider for the company, was not satisfied with the response:

"Why can't you ever give a straight answer insted (actual spelling) of dancing around the issue? It is extremely frustrating!"

Yeah, we feel your pain.

"Last year there was a new policy that clinical managers would be working two clinical shifts per month; in the last 7 months Floor X has not seen Manager X slinging bedpans, giving meds, or doing any actual nursing tasks that are directly related to patient care. In fact, I have never seen our manager actually touch a patient. How do you respond to this" (Name of manager and floor removed by administrator)

Big Stinky Cheese: "All floor managers have been directed to take an active and participatory clinical role two shifts per month; we feel it is an important leadership activity. We have reinforced with all clinical managers that this is a priority".

In response, I would just like to say:
1. Go Greyhound! Don't know if it is just this manager, but I doubt it.
2. "Activity"??!! WTF.

More later.