Sunday, July 24, 2011

More from the Lady on Elm St.

Maybe it is the heat, but Lady has had 3 visits to us and 2 visits to the Mother Ship in the last 6 days.  We KNOW when the ambulance goes out after her; the address is well known to us all.  Even Ellen picks up on it.  "Oh, no, they've gone out after x Elm St. again!  Dr. Cripes already saw her once today!"

I quickly scanned the number of visits for the year.  Between both ER's, outpatient labs and xrays, and a couple of outpatient procedures there were 67 hospital visits.  By far the majority were for emergency care.

I know she likes Cripes, but he has had it with her.

"No way!  She's goes straight to the Mother Ship when they call it in.  One visit per doctor per day; any more is beyond the call of duty".

Interestingly, when she saw that Brian was on duty down at yonder Mother Ship she said, "What, him?  I'm not seeing him".  She really doesn't like Brian.

Two hours later she called. I can't prove it was her, but won't swear that is was not: "Hi, can you tell me who the doctor is today?"
Me: "Who's calling please?"
Caller: "Um....Mary"
Me: "Mary who?" I asked pleasantly.  And politely, don't forget that I was polite.
Caller: "Mary......Smith.  Why do you need to know that information?"  Mary Smith is known to be Lady's cousin or some such.
Me: "Well, Mary, I'm sorry, but we just don't give out that information"
Caller: "That's ridiculous!  How dare you refuse to tell me who the doctor is"
Me: (Very sweetly) "Yes, I know it is inconvenient, but it is a safety issue"
Caller: "Safety!  What has that got to do with anything! Do you think someone might come down there and kick his ass?"
Me: "That is always a possibility, Mary"
Caller: "I've never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life!  How am I supposed to know if I like the doctor who's on?
Me: "Well, Mary, that is problematic.  However, in an emergency situation such as life threatening illness or injury, most people are OK with that.  If you do not have an emergent problem, the alternative is to see your primary care provider"
Caller: "Well, it's an emergency if I say it is an emergency"
Me: "Yes ma'am, I would never presume to tell you not to come to the ER if yout feel your problem is so serious you cannot wait to see your doctor"
Caller: "Well, I don't like your tone, and I am going to complain to Patient Care Services tomorrow.  I'm going to tell them that you were rude to me"
Me: "Yes ma'am, that is your prerogative.  Why don't you give me your phone number so my boss can discuss my rude attitude with you personally.  Mary Smith, correct?"

Bye, Lady.  Have a nice night.