Friday, May 11, 2012

Nurses...Advocating. Leading. Caring.

This statement has apparently been adopted by the American Nurses Association, which I didn't know until I Googled it.  I did this because I KNOW my hospital didn't come up with it on their own.  It appeared as a caption on a list of "Nurses' Week Activities" in a previous post, with all of the crappy offerings letting nurses at this facility know just how valued we are. Massive eye roll here.

Not a fan of Nurses Week, never have been.    It's a Healthcare Hallmark Holiday.  Like Grandparents Day, or National Potato Chip Day, or any one of hundreds of silly recognition days.  

Just out of curiosity I checked around the web to see what kind of floral or gift offerings exist specifically for Nurses Week.  I came up with coffee mugs filled with Hershey Kisses, as well as snack baskets filled with M&M's, Kit Kats, Snickers, cookies and other bad stuff.  These are apparently interchangeable as Teacher's Week gifts.  A few contained "healthy" stuff like commercially prepared granola bars, cheddar cheese popcorn, etc.  Yikes.

I get that food, candy, and coffee (hence the candy filled mugs) are the first things on the list when it comes to "treats" for nurses.  But I envisioned that our twisted marketing department had their own perspective on "Nurse Feeding" and came up with this:

Keeping nurses full of fatty, high calorie and/or sugary foods will contribute to obesity and other health problems.  The benefits, while minimal both short- and long- term for nurses, will be increased for the corporation patient satisfaction scores: 
1.   Long term health issues guarantees a steady stream of nurses as patients due to the increase in diabetes, obesity, cardiac disease. Revenues will be markedly increased.
2.  Patients, with careful marketing, can be lead to view RNoUS (RN's of Unusual Size) as more empathetic, and thus perceived as more caring.  Satisfaction scores will be increased exponentially.

I would be happy with a salad, thanks.  And because I can never find anything I need to do my job, my constant running about insures that my activity  level remains high.  Hey!  Maybe we could get some coupons for decent footwear...