10. Finding a tree.
I used to love to find the perfect tree when my kids were young. The perfect height, just the right amount of bushiness, and with branches that really hold both lights and heavy ornaments. As the kids got older and less interested in finding a tree let alone decorating it (and taking it down) it became more of a chore. I was almost ready to get a table top model this year, but settled for a 5 footer. It is more cute than magnificent, and I'm pleased as punch that it should take 30% fewer ornaments.
9. The mall.
After Black Friday I go no where near the mall on weekends as it is absolute insanity. I prefer to shop local or cyber shop. If I get bored with that, I can just stick sharp needles in my eyes to get the same experience.
8. Charities.
I guess it is probably a wonderful thing to buy a llama, or a goat, or a small herd of chickens for villages in third world countries. If that is your thing, that's fine. But I would prefer to give my money to the locals. Until this year. See previous post on Christmas giving and don't get me started.
7. Finding a really good partridge in a pear tree.
You can always find a serviceable partridge, and a fine pear tree, but a nicely matched set...impossible.
6. My neighbors' excessive Christmas Beast lights and lawn menagerie.
They have about 30 or 40 different things, it makes no sense and has no central theme. There are deer, snowmen, a train, some flashy thing I can't quite tell what it is, and...
"What's that?", I asked Mr. Ednurseasauras. "Second to the right of the blue snowman".
"Ummm...dunno. Does it have a cane and a red scarf?"
"Can't tell. Is it an....angel?"
"No. I think it's a bear (Gets up and looks out the window)
"Is it a goose?"
"Nope, it's just what I said. A bear with a red scarf, and either a cane or a stick."
"Why would it have a cane or a stick? That doesn't make any sense"
"Maybe it's doing a tap dance"
I don't know why I expect anything my neighbor does to make any sense.
5. Christmas Cards.
I don't send 'em, yet people inexplicably continue to send them to me. I'm not counting my family, not even one of my sisters-in-law whose goal is always that hers is the first card received. She sends them earlier and earlier each year. Now we get it the day before Thanksgiving. That's OK, I enjoy seeing the photos of my nieces and nephews and have them saved to embarrass them later. My own kids refused to pose for the annual Christmas photo when they were about 8 or 9, but a couple of years ago I put some Christmas lights on Tina and printed a Christmas card out of the photo which I sent to the family. My mother thought I had finally lost it.
4. Having to work the holiday.
I get that nurses, along with police and fire and other public servants, have to work 24/7 and we all have to take a turn. What chaps my ass is that Clip-board nurses and Suits get to take an extra day off when Christmas falls on a weekend
3. Catalogs.
Really annoying since I get hundreds of them beginning in October. Because it is necessary to recycle, they must all go to the dump, to end up in appropriately coded bins. I am placing my recycle bin under the mailbox. No wonder the Postal service is going broke.
2. Christmas Muzak
It starts in October, right around the same time I start getting the catalogs. For that matter, who wants to see Christmas decorations along side Halloween candy?
1. Christmas wreaths and reindeer antlers/red noses on cars.
This, to me, says, "I have more than enough time on my hands and absolutely no imagination". My friends think it is hysterical that this makes me so crazy. Linda and Dede gave me one of those antler thingies last year as a joke, but I put it on Sue's car. I hope she is presently enjoying it on her car as much as I enjoy not having it.
