Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I'll Be Calm When You Leave. I Promise.

The working environment in an ER is labile, obviously.  ER nurses wouldn't want to work there unless there was some variety now, would we?  Most of us could never work anywhere else, but that doesn't mean it's all wonderfully sunshiny and glittery.  There are no unicorns defacating  rainbow colored poop, let's be clear.   And let us not forget about the DRRRAAAAAAAAMA.  Distraught patients and families, unfulfilled drug-seekers, and teenagers are not the sole providers of drama.

As for drama, I personally  don't care if the world is going to hell in a hand cart patient-wise as long as I am working with people who are calm and orderly as well.  I do not respond well to individual mayhem, chaos, and people spinning will-nilly in their own disorganized orbits.  Just take a breath.  It is not time to panic until it is time to panic.

Gil likes it calm; we enjoy taking a deep breath together as the day shift leaves, taking their chaos with them.    I like my own inner peace to prevail even if I am racing from task to task.  There are some combinations and groups of people who work cohesively, work as a team, and make the experience pleasant.  If nothing else there is a common hatred of management bullies and company bullshit.  The more "big personalities", "lone wolves", "chronic complainers" and "debbie downers" who are part of  the work environment, the more unpleasant it becomes, which has a tendency to mess with my inner calm.

Things that generally fu*k with my chi:

1.  Wednesday, the lab tech.  She is like nails on a blackboard.

2.  Eeyore on a day after she calls in sick because she just fu*king whines and I want to hit her.

3.  The air conditioning on the fritz.  For the entire weekend.

4.  Patients who come in five minutes before we close for crap that's been going on all day/week/month/year.

5.  Coworkers who whine about the schedule because they didn't get to it first.  Haha.

6.  The Lady on Elm St. calling for the 4th time.  In one hour.

7.  Patient's with silly reasons for being in the ER who want warm blankets, 3 pillows, an ice pack, an additional 4 more "something I forgot to mention's", are talking on their cell phone and want change for the vending machine because they need a little snack, coloring books and crayons for their demon spawn and are pissed about the wait, all in the first 10 minutes of the visit before the physician has a chance to see them.

8.  Any shift with Parvati because she yells orders to the universe in general and calls me Nancy repeatedly.  Which I ignore because my name isn't Nancy.

Quit fu*king with my chi.  Honestly.  We'll all be happier.
Now just go breathe somewhere else, there's plenty of oxygen over there.