Friday, November 25, 2011

Snatch Purse

Ellen was the one who cut the article out of the local paper.  One of our frequent patients had been arrested for stealing money from her friend in the amount of $2000.  She ran to a neighbor's garage where police recovered about $120 in a bottle of ant killer.  Although she denied stealing any money, having any money on her person, or having any connection whatsoever with cash in the bottle she later copped to having hidden roughly $1,654 in her vagina.  She was taken into police custody after turning the cash over to the police.  Nasty.

This, of course, prompted a discussion of the  possible denominations she had managed to secret upon her skanky person as we pondered the required capacity. 

"'l'll bet it was 16 hundreds, 2 twenties, 1 ten and 4 ones"
"Maybe it was all in silver dollars"
"How about a Traveler's check?"
"Nah, it had to have been $1,654 ones."
"Gold doubloons!"

I am only using my debit card from now on.  My mother is right, money is dirty.