Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Kids Can Be Tricky

Contrary to popular belief, I actually like kids;  at least the well behaved ones.  These are becoming increasingly rare.

Sometimes nurses have to be the heavy and hold a kid down for sutures, give injections, or start IV's.  It is not pleasant, and I always try to get the parent on board.  I have picked up a few tricks of the trade.

"You just give her a big hug; we will do the rest.  You always have the option of stepping into the waiting room if you like".  Parents rarely take that option, but they do occasionally trade off with the other parent if they are feeling less than supportive, nauseous, or look pale.

Hug= wrap both arms around those legs and hang on for dear life.  You cannot reason with an 18  month old when it comes to sticking them with a needle, trust me.

I have no use for a parent who tells me their kid "just won't take the medicine".
Really?  If you can't get Tylenol into a kid at 3 you have no prayer of control when they are in middle school.

I'm a reasonable person, so kids generally have a choice with me: "Take the medicine", or "Take the medicine".  They always do, and parents are awestruck that I can get a med as foul tasting as prelone into their kid.  You'd think I'd required them to eat broccoli.   Unlike broccoli, though, if you give it all at once to a shrieking, mucousy kid you will get it right back up in a jiffy.  Some finesse is required.  I just don't think there is anything wrong with having expectations for kids in the ER and communicating them clearly to the child as well as the parent.

Sometimes we come across a kid so cute even I get sucked into the Adorable Zone with the rest of my gooey co-workers.  It is like a tractor beam.

This little one was about 8 months old.  Just "cunnin" as my grandmother would say (look it up).  The other nurses made googly-eyes and baby noises.  Step away from the baby.   Don't make eye contact.  Don't....make....eye contact...

"Can you hold her for a minute?", asked mom.  "I need to run to the lady's".
Me: "Sure"

I took her into my arms as she regarded me with interest;  huge bright blue eyes and long black lashes framed by a tiny pink cap.  Little pouty rosebud mouth.  Must....resist.....

"Hello", I said.  "Want to go for a ride in the linen cart?"
Ms. Baby: (grinning hugely) "Hah!"