Tuesday, December 18, 2018

...and now for something completely different.

One of my favorite security guards accompanied me to my car.  After being accosted in the parking lot late at night last year, the older guys always ask me if I want an escort.  As I was parked in East Bum, I accepted.

Steve was having a laugh at one of the nasty frequent flyer drunks.  He was being his usual nasty, liquor-fueled courageous self, standing at the door of his room, making demands, hurling curses.  After being repeatedly told to get back into the room by Steve (and since the rest of us were completely ignoring him) he pulled down his pants and exposed himself.

"There you go!  How do you like that?  Huh?  Huh?  Take that!"  He waggled his hips pointedly for good measure.

Everyone within earshot froze in place and stared....for about 4 seconds.  Then life went merrily on, as usual.  Nothing to see here.

The police were called.

"What do you want to do with him?", the officer asked.

Steve: "I wanted to tell him to just put him in a trebuchet and fucking launch him across the city".

Me: "Fetchez la vache!!"*

*you either get that quote and are laughing your butt off, or you don't.