Saturday, May 6, 2017

The USS Constipation

Meanwhile, back at the Bait Shoppe:

Most of the ER docs will just tell patients to take mag citrate and get on a regimen of Miralax, but Gil ordered an enema.

"There is a special place in Hell for ER docs who order enemas", I said darkly.  Worse, it's not even an ER anymore.

I really didn't put much effort into it to be honest.

But after her special treat, Enema Woman gushed about how wonderful Gil was, what great care he gave, how much she appreciated such a warm and feeling humanitarian, and how she would pray for his long and healthy continued existence.

Later I told Gil in detail just how much Enema Woman enjoyed her visit and and expounded on the wonderfulness that was Gil as he beamed in happy warm fuzziness.

Until I told him that I had given Enema Woman his home phone number so that she could personally contact him, as well as his address so that he could enjoy annual Christmas cards and gifts for years to come.

I get even.