Friday, October 14, 2011


......the process by which, via natural selection, unfit specimens remove themselves from the gene pool

A few candidates who are genetically hanging by a thread for your entertainment.  There will be a quiz at the conclusion of this presentation:

A.  40 year old man came in complaining of "really bad burns".  He had been at a local bonfire/pep rally or some crap, and was tending to the fire.  He had some 1st and 2nd degree burns on his right hand and arm, and the backs of both legs.

Me: "How did this happen?"
Guy: "I threw some gasoline on the fire"
Me: (blurted before I could stop myself), "WHY??"

Did I mention that he had three or four kids under the age of 12 with him?  Um, yeah.

B.  33 year old who used heroin for the first time.  At work. That's all I have to say about that.

C.  42 year old who had a couple of beers at lunch and went back to work.  As a roofer. Using a nail gun, he buried a couple of inches metal into his proximal femur. THIS CLOSE to his femoral artery

D.  36 year old nearly removed his own knee cap with a chain saw.  He admitted to taking a "butt load" of oxy's daily for his chronic pain condition for which he is disabled.  Let me also mention he weighed over 300 pounds and had stopped at Burger World (as evidenced by paper sack he was toting) and had a blood pressure of Patent Pending/100.  A more cynical person than I might wonder how in hell he imagined using a chain saw in his debilitated condition was a good decision. 

Which of the following statements is true: (I told you there would be a quiz)

1.  They are all men
2.  They have all made galactically stupid decisions
3.  Antibiotics cure viruses.

A.  1 & 2 only
B.  All of the above
C.  1 & 3.
D.  None of the above