Thank You...

...to patient satisfaction surveys and Press Gainey for giving the public the means to bitch when their every wish is not magically granted in the ER.  Too bad Dr. Google doesn't have office hours because THAT is some sound medical practice.  I'm sorry....you didn't get that MRI Dr. Google recommended?  What a shame.  Your best friend's sister's boyfriend the veterinary tech said you needed Percocet for that two week old sore ankle?  Oh pooh.  Your mother convinced you that you needed antibiotics for that cold?  Tsk Tsk.   I want, therefore I will get it.....NOT necessarily.

My boss handed me a survey today with a scathing review of the individual's care.  I was the nurse.
He had punched a wall but lied to me and told me he fell down.  I knew it was bullshit but I generally leave it to the provider to explain why some little knowledge of physics is required in order to fabricate a mechanism of injury.  In other words telling him his story is bullshit.

"I don't want to call him", Jane said.  She is responsible for calling all the bullshit whiners and people who are verbally abusive to staff and squeaky wheels in general in order to make them feel like we deeply regret that their 10/10 pain was not sincerely addressed.  This is in accordance with Bible of Upper Management Bullshit, specifically the Crap According to Clipboarders verse:

'Your wife will become a harlot in the city, your sons and your daughters will fall by the sword, your land will be parceled up' 

oh, sorry, wrong one.  This is it:

" and unto them a discount shall be given"

Accordingly, being less than truthful with minimal outward damage and negative xrays will not garner one an automatic narcotic pain prescription.  So the respondent went home with a prescription for Motrin and was pissed off.

"That Dr. XX was a moron.  All I got was a $150.00 bill and MOTRIN!!  Who goes to the ER and gets Motrin???  I am telling everyone I know that the care SUCKS there.  But the nurse was OK"

I am sure it was waaaaaaaaay more than $150.00.

File this under "Things that will ultimately reveal themselves to be Galactically Stupid ideas.  Sort of like this, which has been bothering me for quite some time:

"Hey, does this solar system make my ass look big?"

Thank you, NASA....for sending this into the solar system and including our address, so that extraterrestrials  might visit us in our naked and unarmed glory with raygunz and sh*t
This message was obviously sent out before they voted Pluto out of the Solar system.  We'll send that correction right out.

You're It

I have decided not to do any more EKG competencies because they are stupid and a waste of time.  Screw that.  This is my last one: