Saturday, February 12, 2011


Bobo: Did you triage room 2?
Me: Nope. Why?
Bobo: I can't read what's written under "LMP"*
Me: It says, "wrist"
Bobo: Ummm.....
Me: You're welcome!

* last menstrual period

We are Here for You!

My co-worker, Lisa, moonlights at other ER's. Today, she was at the Bear Went Over the Mountain Regional Hospital ER about 20 miles away. Many of our more mobile, but less intelligent, frequent med seeking individuals with the Holy Trinity* of narcotic-gettin' complaints will shop there. Unbeknownst to them, Cripes occasionally works there as well as Lisa and a few other nurses from the Mother Ship. That is three of the four hospitals in the immediate area; guess we have surveillance covered.

Lots of times the individuals will take one look at either Cripes or Lisa (or others) and skedaddle like a rat leaving a ship on fire; sometimes they will swear to God they have never been seen for this or any other problem. That is pretty stupid, but then these aren't the brightest bulbs in the box. Just add it to the list of Great Moments of WTF-ery.

Lisa just happened to mention that one of our more challenged narc-seekers came up with a particularly tasty little nugget during her triage interview at Bear Went Over the Mountain ER. He had been seen at my ER (by Lisa) over the weekend.

"Oh no, I couldn't have been seen over the weekend (where he received a 'script for Percocet) because THAT ER is always closed on Saturdays and Sundays".

Note that we are open 365 days per year.

Lisa just wanted to know if she was going to be paid for working the weekend if we were closed, and how that would affect her every-other-weekend committment.

*Holy Trinity = back pain, migraine, dental pain.