Thursday, February 7, 2013

Always After Me Lucky Charms

Being ill simply doesn't fit in with most individuals' plans.  Nobody has the time or patience to let nature take its course.  Heaven forbid people inconvenience themselves long enough to contact their primary care provider or wait for an appointment when it is so much easier to go to the ER.   Even having seen their primary care, members of Instant Gratification Nation wait about 5 hours on average, then naturally it's off to the ER to obtain the pill that makes them Magically Better.  Guess what, we don't have one.

Of course one could always fall back on magic. In fact, I am considering adding Do You Believe in Magic? to mandatory screening questions I ask at triage along with Do you smoke, drink, use seat belts, have unprotected sex, use coffee, or in an abusive relationship.  That would save some time.  Discharge instructions could then include such choices as:

1. Adding a daily serving of  Lucky Charms, which are Magically Delicious.

2.  Make a visit to the Magic Kingdom.  Lots of magic there.

3.  Listen to the Beetles Magical Mystery Tour.

4.  Gotta have you some Magic Beans