Tuesday, January 20, 2009

F stop

Why do people find it necessary to punctuate their discomfort with "fuck" to make a point? I am not averse to dropping an occasional "F" bomb to make a point.....when it's appropriate. But it is seriously overused if you ask me.

Can I say "fuck" on this blog? Guess I'll find out.

Perhaps in the ER we should institute an "F Scale".

I see this as an adjunct to quantifying pain via the pain scale.

Let's say a patient is complaining of back pain. He might say something like "Ah, FUCK. My fucking back hurts so fucking much, I just want to fucking kill myself. FUCK!

So, the pain is 10/10, with an F scale of 5. And a +1 for suicidal ideation as a bonus.

Another way to guage the turkey factor is F per minute.



This is just overkill. And insincere. I heard you the first 9 times you said it.

I used to work with a very funny doc. He was really an angry young man deep down, but pretty funny usually. In my opinion he had the best possible use of the F word. He frequently used used the expression: FYYFF.

Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck. Or more accurately:

Fuck YOU. You. Fucking. FUCK.
The last 3 words were sort of slow and enunciated, like 'You. dirty. rat".

I really appreciate the f bombardiers who pause after a string of f's to ask me how my shift is going. Ah, trying to endear yourself to me are you? Won't work, I can see ya coming a mile away.

My boss hung up an article written by someone whose defense against busy or compassion-lacking nurses was to get "up close and personal" with them, to try to connect with them in some way as to increase the human factor. One of her tactics was to ask if the nurse had children, or comment "I love your clogs!". Seasoned and hard core nurses won't fall for this; it just signals them that there is an agenda. It did get me thinking though. Anyone of us would advocate strenuously for a loved one, it just happens that those of us who work in health care (especially the ER) are usually more direct.

Hey Doc, great clogs!