Postal Notes

In my monstrously large ER consisting of about 10 nurses and where communication should not be an issue, the most common method is by post-it note.  These are numerous and routinely decorate the area around the nursing station.  Changes in policy, (management fu*kery), mistakes, ("wall of shame"), or reminders (endless little notes telling us"don't forget to do blah, blah, blah" ) would pile up to the point of ridiculousness....unless I removed them.  That is my mission in life.

Parvati always has requests for exotic pieces of equipment, expensive dressings, meds we would rarely use, or specific types of suture material.  She might say, "TELL JANE THAT SHE HAS TO ORDER 3-0 GECKO SUTURES ON A P-3 NEEDLE!  IT IS MADE FROM THE INTESTINES OF KOMODO DRAGONS AND IS COATED WITH BUTTERFLY SPITTLE!  IT COMES ON A NEEDLE MADE FROM DEHYDRATED AND GROUND WILD AUSTRALIAN DINGOES!  I MIGHT NEED TO USE IT AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY HERE!  I CAN'T POSSIBLY MAKE DO WITH ANYTHING ELSE! "

Parvati always speaks in caps.  Yes, she is shouting.  I treat most of these requests as I would for a kid who asks for a pony for her birthday; I yes her to death and throw it away.

Sometimes it is a legitimate request for equipment that we actually need that might be in low supply such as this:

"Dr G wants 4-5 knife handles, please"

And since we just can't help ourselves, written below:

I want an ice cream, no...make that a hot fudge sundae!

Step away from the Ginsu


I would like a bike.


Always pass a knife handle-first to avoid amputation.  This has been a very important Public Safety Announcement.

World peace, please domination


I want to buy this place after I win the lotto.  And I want a pony.

Who is writing the note is more important than what is written.  Or some sh*t.