Friday, September 10, 2010

Douche Baggage and Luggagegate

Mr. Ednurseasauras and I were en route home from a fabulous vacation in Alaska and waiting in Seattle for the second leg of our flight homw. We were slaphappy from lack of sleep as we observed the antics of a full flight of dip shits as they try to weasel out of paying the baggage fee on Continental with their over sized, overfilled, truly non-regulation sized "carry-on" bags.

First of all, I just have to say that every airline that charges a fee for baggage sucks; if they also charge for carry-on bags, they suck doubly.

Mr. Ednursesauras and I are flying on Continental, which deserves the "Profiles in Customer Disservice" award; the so-called customer service representative directed a woman with a cane to go AROUND the podium and into the cattle chute instead of letting her save a few steps and cutting across. Booooo! You get an F for that.

The other gate keeper announced that since the flight was full, EVERY carry on suitcase would be required to be properly sized in the, well, sizing thingy.

Mr. EdN and I amused ourselves by predicting which bags would get the heave-ho into the dungeon of checked baggage.

Seriously? Some of the bags were TWICE the legal size; no way was it fair to have them stuffed into the overhead. Yet people were actually ARGUING about, which is when it got really funny. To us, of course.

One woman had a purple trapezoid shaped bag; yep, I said trapezoid. She kept insisting, "but really, see? It's squishy, it'll fit!". This was after she had removed a computer and some dirty laundry from the bag.

Lady,no matter if you put brought that bag into the cabin empty, the base is STILL too wide to fit. NEXT!

"Oh, look. This next one is huge! No way that gets in. I think it weighs about 50 pounds."

"I think it probably contains frozen fish; what if it melts and starts stinking?"

"What is wrong with these people?"

It occurred to me that these are probably the same self-centered and needy people who frequent ER's, and that it would probably be fun to compare notes with some of these airline people. Over cocktails, of course.

The pseudo-sick public sucks. The traveling public sucks equally. I think, though, that because flight/gate attendants have the final say on who gets on and who doesn't they might have the advantage over ER nurses. At least they are being evaluated on customer service, not nursing care which has somehow been lumped into customer service. Not to mention the advantage of having air marshalls who REALLY have the last word. It is no wonder that a veteran flight attendant, after a verbal altercation with a passenger that should have been ejected/arrested/flogged, made a public farewell announcement, grabbed a couple of beers, and fled down the emergency chute. He deserves a fecking medal.