Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I Know Who I'm Gonna Call

Another night with Parvati, the usual running around. Except we had Actual EmergenciesTM. A STEMI transferred out; an 8 year old with severe reaction to bee sting;  a 10 year old with SVT.  More bee stings.  A 15 year old whose ulna and radius looked  as if he had sprouted another elbow.  Shoulder dislocation.  Yeah, busy for us with our limited resources.

Plus we had our usual contingent of dental pains and neighborhood "I had nothing better to do so I thought I'd go to the ER for this minor problem I have had for 3 months".

To add to the perfection of the evening, I also had to work with SIC.  SIC and Parvati don't like each other much.

I don't like either of them much.  So it was kind of fun to watch them sniping at each other.  For once I was Nurse Good.  Hahahahaha!

At the height of the insanity, and quite without dinner, we didn't have a single room free except the Code room, having either shipped off or discharged all Actual EmergenciesTM except for the little girl with SVT and the kid with the bee sting. We still had a boat load of others occupying rooms.

Not Cheri told us we had another triage.  "She's a little dramatic, says she cut her finger off".

Me: "Do you mean actual finger-in-a-baggie cut off, or high drama boo-boo?"

Not Cheri: "No finger in a baggie".

Second in Command went to triage her, a 24 year old well know to us for frequent visits for complaints and maladies better treated with common sense than emergency care. She was sent along with her demanding and unpleasant parent to the registration area since we didn't have a space to put her. 

Minutes later, I saw a blur as Parvati raced her back to the Code room via wheelchair and unwrapped the finger.  Call the helicopter.  Help, murder, police.  It was an avulsion from a vegetable peeler.  They may be painful, but not race-back-to-our-only-available-bed urgent.  I glanced briefly into the room and quickly lost interest.

Parvati came back to the desk, actually shamefaced: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, her mother said she was going to pass out, I just thought she should probably lie down.  I didn't realize it was such a tiny cut".
SIC: "I know her.  She is very dramatic and stupid,and her mother is an idiot"

I witnessed this exchanged with my mouth open.  For one thing, Parvati never says "please" or "thank you", never mind "I'm sorry".  This was.....unprecedented.  For another, what was this?  Perfect SIC calling a a patient stupid and the mother an idiot??  And Parvati pushing a wheelchair? And I am well behaved??

What, am I in Bizarro World?  UP is DOWN, BLACK is WHITE, NIGHT is DAY?  What's next, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria?  This could be either very good or very bad;  I will go to the experts for an opinion. since I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Dr. Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.