Not today...but someday

New Cathy and I heard the call go out on the scanner for a 48 year old female; CPR in progress. We waited for the radio transmission from the field, fully expecting that the code would be brought our way.

It came: 3 rounds of drugs, intubated, EJ blown but a working IO.

"We'll be a little bit yet; we are still working on extrication"

What!!??? Extrication!!??? No, it couldn't be. Cathy and I stared at each other in mute horror.

I grabbed the phone and punched in dispatch.

"What's the address of that code??"

Not Elm St.

He said....What??

Southern Cathy: I can't believe you didn't filet that guy for saying that. I have never seen you so calm when someone is rude to you; are you on new happy pills or something?
Me: Hmm, what? I was taking his blood pressure, I didn't hear a thing. OK, what was it he said then?
Southern Cathy: (turning pale) I, umm... well, what I mean to say is.....well....he said....
Me: Spit it out!
Southern Cathy: He said...."IN ANOTHER MINUTE I'LL BE MAKING LOVE WITH THIS NICE NURSE"! Sorry! I though you heard it, jeesh, if I'd known you hadn't I never would have mentioned it!
Me: Cath, he's 80 fucking years old; at most he would get an over-the-top-of-the-glasses stare. Get a grip.

Nursing...the Next Generation

For some reason, there are more than a few nursing students who feel the need to read this blog. That's OK, as long as y'all are taking my mad ranting with a grain of salt. Remember that I have been a nurse for a long time. A VERY long time. During that time I have run the gamut from wide-eyed optimist, to rebel without a clue, to union organizer, to leader, to simply throwing my hands up in surrender. Butcher, baker, candlestick maker. I've done....well, not quite everything but near enough. Near enough.

Although I love to teach and am usually on my best behavior when I am toting a student around like a pull toy, I usually have to make a conscious effort not to make snarky comments. Also to conduct myself professionally and to set a good example. It is stressful. I can usually go about 2 to 3 hours before I go off on something or other. Just can't help it.

Tonight I had a student for 6 painful wonderful hours. I was a paragon of virtue for the first 2; shocker.

A satellite ER is not the greatest place to have a first year student. For one thing, we have limited resources on a number of levels; we don't do things exactly by the book, and it is an entirely different environment. Plus, when things rapidly go to hell in a hand basket, it is necessary for students to just get the hell out of the way and for me to try to explain later. Sometimes we just can't use the training wheels, and students are forbidden to ride the bike without them.

Since we can't even let students take vital signs (only second year students can do that, yikes) I hauled my student to triage and back, in and out of rooms for IV starts, and had her hand me stuff. No big deal. I think it was more important to give her a sense of how the assessment process works, but you know kids; not happy unless they have a toy to play with. I had a high school intern who was bored out of her mind last fall, and mainly did her English homework if it was quiet. On her evaluation, you know what she listed as the best part of the entire 100 hours? "Ednurseasauras showed me how to use a syringe and needle to draw up water (saline, actually), and how to get rid of the bubbles". She played with it for about 2 hours.

Really? The best thing you did in weeks?

Tonight I had a good bit of time to explain stuff which makes for a reasonably good experience. I showed her all of our toys "Oooh! Shiny!". I let her listen to lung sounds. I showed her how to take out sutures. She had some initiative and was out of the chair when patients came in to accompany New Cathy and I to triage. I only went off on one of the 3 frequent narcotic seekers who was pissed that she got Tramadol, and even more pissed when Bobo gave her a 'script for Motrin when she complained. But I digress. Mostly I was a good little nurse.

Now that you have finished falling off your chair, you may resume your normal activities.

Oh, when I asked the student what were the best/worst parts of her experience at night's end, she thought that making the beds was the worst part.

Hmmmm....

Last Course!

I did it.

Passed my last CLEP, and expected to start my final course toward my BSN at the end of March, beginning of April.

Lo and behold, a call to my academic advisor yielded a lovely surprise; instead of starting a new 11 week course at the beginning of the term, a change in policy allows the start of 11 week courses ALSO at the mid-point. I was immediately enrolled in Holistic Professional Nursing (a day late, but who cares!).

I WILL BE DONE ON MAY 5!!!!!

WOOT!!!!!!

Unless I decide on grad school.....

Today's Last Patient of the Night....from the other night...

happened to be the Lady on Elm St. We heard the ambulance tone out for leg pain to her address on the scanner, so we knew what was coming. I looked up her last several visits to see if she had been seen recently: nope, just a bunch of outpatient stuff. Whatever.

The paramedics who brought her in were an interesting team; Drew is somewhat of an ass bordering on douchebaggery, but seems to be growing up a little of late. He is making fewer insensitive comments, actually asks intelligent questions and has been less condescending than usual to the patients whom he deems beneath him, or less deserving of his vast array of knowledge. Or taking pictures with his I Phone of random stupid stuff. ("Oh! Want to see a picture of an icicle that looks like Larry the Cable Guy?"....um, no. But thanks for asking).

Lady was on an insulin that I hadn't seen before along with her 25 other daily meds (not total doses, total meds....not including the PRN pain meds that she routinely takes and just doesn't seem to get around to adding to her med list). Drew took the time to look it up on his fancy phone.

So, Lady had been given an antibiotic for a 2 cm. red area on her leg the day before. Gee, it's not better. Wow.

Bobo gave her another antibiotic and I dispatched her via comped cab to her home in near record time, a happy camper. But since it was the night before Valentine's Day, I decided to have some fun with Bobo in case he had received a funny bone transplant recently.

Lady had given Cripes a Valentine the week before; a nice long, flowery valentine, for which he received an enormous ration of shit. Lady just LOVES Cripes, and even gave him a big hug to prove it.

I took a plastic heart off the wall and wrote:
"Dear Dr. Roboto,
You are the best doctor in the world. I am so glad that I had you to take care of me today. If you give me your schedule, I will come in every time you are working.
Love and Kisses,
Lady"

After she left, I handed it to him
"Here, Lady left this extra special valentine for you"

He took it, read it, blushed and said, "She really did this?"

Me: (laughing) ".Um, no, not really. I just knew that Cripes had received one and didn't want you to feel left out".

He had the good grace to laugh. "Guess I'm a little slow on the uptake. That's pretty funny".

Me: "I'm going to put it in your call room for everyone to see".

Bobo: "Haha, they will all be jealous".

Naturally I left it for Mikki and Sherry who called me early in the morining when Bobo was back to work the early shift with them Not thinking or believing that I had the guts not only to do it but to show it to him, they left it for Bobo along with a chocolate heart. It kind of backfired since it was already played. But they did get a laugh out of it.