I covered the day shift for Mikki for a few hours today. It was me and SIC, who regaled me with the fascinating tale of her husband's Lasek surgery escapades. As if I needed an inducement to take a nap. Hate getting up for the day shift.
There are boatloads of outpatients during the day but not a whole lotta ER patients; they all wait to come in after 3 PM. One young girl with a probable kidney stone was sent to the Mother Ship for a CT scan. The Talker did some fast work. I had time to do some school work for awhile, albeit half-heartedly.
Jane and SIC are friends; they are neighbors and share religious leanings. They spend a lot of time together even though Jane knows SIC walks all over her; takes over during staff meetings; tries to bully Jane into other stuff like, get this, "I think we all need to wear the same color scrubs; like this teal and blue, and always wear a white lab coat!".
Hahahahahaha! No.
I have one advantage over Jane, though; for some reason, SIC is afraid of me, or afraid of riling me up, or afraid of being on the receiving end of one of my rants, or just afraid of not being one of the cool kids. Which she is not. But I am always pleasant and cordial to her, so I don't know why...oh, bull. Of course I know; she just feels inferior, but to be honest, I am not an ER nurse snob when people are doing the work to the best of their ability. And she is very caing and giving. Are you convinced? Didn't think so. No really, she is a good nurse. I would want her to take care of my family members, it's just that she is lacking in the communication department and thinks she is the boss, hence the name. If she was manager, I would quit because it would be unbearable. And that's all I have to say about that.
Anyway, we got to talking about the schedule, Jane and SIC and I. SIC very cautiously approached a notation on the schedule that I had made for Easter; "available". She really wanted it off, and it was a good thing she asked today because I might have made plans by tomorrow.
"Sure, I'll work it for you; I don't mind, and I don't have any plans. Easter really isn't on the agnostic liturgical calendar". I think that bothered her. A little.
The schedule is usually a bone of contention with some. We are a nursing staff numbering about 10. Almost everyone is flexible when it comes to the schedule, with the possible exception of Kerry; she has little kids and a husband who works evenings in their restaurant, so I certainly don't have a problem with that. That said, there is absolutely no need to have the schedule done FOUR MONTHS in advance. Talk about painting yourself into a corner. New Cathy is famous for "getting the new schedule started" even though I told her she is forbidden to do it more than two months in advance. New Cathy isn't afraid of me, apparently, but from another standpoint it really isn't fair that she gets first pick of the evening shift EVERY MONTH. Jane and I are going to have a little discussion about that. I hate to go that route, but I will if I have to; the day shift take turns on a rotating basis putting down their preferred schedule and I am not above insisting on that if I must.
SIC let it slip that Lisa, a day shifter, has started a schedule (that includes the
4th of July, sheesh!) and has kept it in her bag so as not to enrage me; I thought it was both funny and pathetic, so I left her this note:
"Dear Lisa,
You coward! I know that you have the schedule started and are afraid to post it...SEE ME!!!
Ednurseasauras"
I was kidding of course, Lisa is a good egg; if we worked together all the time we would constantly be in trouble.
The problem is that the schedule for the 4rh of July would open up a huge can of worms. Four of us want part of the first 2 weeks of July off. My name is second on the list after Mikki, who counts every second of time, every fragment of charge pay, and has a persecution complex. She just always thinks there is a conspiracy in which she is being targeted. It's bullshit, of course. She and I actually worked last July 4th. I really don' t care since I need a lot of the month of June of for various social engagements. I can always use July 4th as a bargaining chip, but Mikki had off Christmas week, a week off in February and is going to a conference in May for which she needs time off.
Me? I took a week off at the beginning of December, one day in February, and have been paying in blood for every Sunday off since last September between Mikki, Sherry and SIC who needs practically the month of April off and which I have accomodated.
I am thinking that I will probably be off July 4th.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Happy St. Paddy's Day
Southern Cathy and I worked St. Patrick's day last year; it was crazy, crazy busy, of course. We never got dinner, a snack or a chance to go the bathroom. We wanted to go to Kerry's for a pint.
Kerry's restaurant usually has a pretty good St. Patrick's day festival; Irish dancers, a band or two and more Guinness than you can shake a shillelagh at.
Of course we were starving when we got there a little before midnight. Kerry was helping out at the bar as she usually does on that holiday; tradition. We were crushed that the kitchen was closed. But hey, Kerry had a back up for us.
"I'll get you some corned beef pizza, you'll love it! I invented the recipe myself"
Eeeuw, I thought. I would rather she put cheese and sauce on a pizza box. I loathe everything about corned beef; the smell, the texture and the especially the taste. Nana made a boiled dinner twice a year, and I made sure to leave the house for that event (something we talked about just this morning). The odor permeated the house and my clothes for days. And to add insult to injury, the leftovers were turned into unappetizing lumps of mystery-meat-like pattys known as corned beef hash. I'm sure it was delicious in its own way, but I ate it with extreme prejudice and completely covered in ketchup. At the time, it was enough to gag a maggot. Nana loves corned beef; she was headed out with her friends to the pub, anxious to listen to Irish music, drink green beer and of course eat boiled dinner. As I said....eeeuw.
Seriously? Corned beef pizza?
We were so hungry we actually liked it. Everything is better withbeer a proper pint. Can't wait to get off work, hope you get some of your own!
Kerry's restaurant usually has a pretty good St. Patrick's day festival; Irish dancers, a band or two and more Guinness than you can shake a shillelagh at.
Of course we were starving when we got there a little before midnight. Kerry was helping out at the bar as she usually does on that holiday; tradition. We were crushed that the kitchen was closed. But hey, Kerry had a back up for us.
"I'll get you some corned beef pizza, you'll love it! I invented the recipe myself"
Eeeuw, I thought. I would rather she put cheese and sauce on a pizza box. I loathe everything about corned beef; the smell, the texture and the especially the taste. Nana made a boiled dinner twice a year, and I made sure to leave the house for that event (something we talked about just this morning). The odor permeated the house and my clothes for days. And to add insult to injury, the leftovers were turned into unappetizing lumps of mystery-meat-like pattys known as corned beef hash. I'm sure it was delicious in its own way, but I ate it with extreme prejudice and completely covered in ketchup. At the time, it was enough to gag a maggot. Nana loves corned beef; she was headed out with her friends to the pub, anxious to listen to Irish music, drink green beer and of course eat boiled dinner. As I said....eeeuw.
Seriously? Corned beef pizza?
We were so hungry we actually liked it. Everything is better with
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
How to Tell a Lie
Candace, the day xray tech had an outpatient whom, she said, "was nasty and had attitude". I guess he had asked her if she "saw" anything on his xray, which normally annoys the crap out of her.
Jane, my boss said, "Why don't you tell him you see plenty, but you won't tell him what?"
Candace didn't think it was funny; apparently there are strict rules on what they can tell patients, and she usually tells them "I am not allowed to read xrays; that is the responsibility of the radiologist". I guess a lot of patients just get douchy about it, and blame the tech; perhaps it is all in the way the rebuff is presented.
I suggested a few things Candace could tell patients who wanted to know if she "saw" anything:
1. "I once saw a solar eclipse"
2. "I saw the Sound of Music in the theater when I was 10"
3. "I saw an image of the Holy Family in a grilled cheese sandwich!"
4. "I see dead people?"
Candace doesn't have much of a sense of humor.
Jane, my boss said, "Why don't you tell him you see plenty, but you won't tell him what?"
Candace didn't think it was funny; apparently there are strict rules on what they can tell patients, and she usually tells them "I am not allowed to read xrays; that is the responsibility of the radiologist". I guess a lot of patients just get douchy about it, and blame the tech; perhaps it is all in the way the rebuff is presented.
I suggested a few things Candace could tell patients who wanted to know if she "saw" anything:
1. "I once saw a solar eclipse"
2. "I saw the Sound of Music in the theater when I was 10"
3. "I saw an image of the Holy Family in a grilled cheese sandwich!"
4. "I see dead people?"
Candace doesn't have much of a sense of humor.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Another Seinfeld ER Moment
So, this guy brings in his 69 year old father with some back pain.
"He fell".
Sonny didn't know anything about his medical history except "High blood pressure, dementia and he got his legs cut off". The only med he knows for sure is oxycodone; for chronic hip and back pain.
The man, I'll call him Buck, has pretty piss-poor short term memory. I get him triaged and into a wheelchair and into the waiting room with sonny to await registration.
Moments later, Ellen comes looking for me.
Ellen: "Did that son leave? This gentleman doesn't even know his address, poor thing. Did he leave a number?".
Me: "Nope. Guess he's gone. No forwarding address, either".
I put Buck into a room and help him get undressed. He has all kinds of information to give me; about how a motor vehicle accident cut off both his legs, but they were able to sew them back on. About how his wife died. About how he doesn't drive anymore. About how he used to be an electrician.
What Buck can't tell me is how he fell or where his useless son went.
Cripes was a little busy tonight. He's been working a lot lately, seems like every other shift I get to work with him. It was a while before he was able to see Buck. By then the useless son has returned
"I had to give the car keys to my fiancee". Really. How...interesting.
Useless son continued to be on his cell phone, in and out of the department. "I had to talk to my fiancee". Really. You actually have a girlfriend?
Shortly thereafter, another call to the fiancee; "I had to tell my fiancee my work schedule". Really. Yawn. Dude, I really don't give a shit.
Useless son doesn't have much of an idea about what actually happened to Dad, which prompted yet another call to....you guessed it..."my fiancee to find out what happened".
What a specimen. "I wonder what happened to my fiancee. I know she's here somewhere. Have you seen my fiancee? Tell my fiancee I'm looking for her. I have lost my fiancee, the poor baby".
Me: Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
Buck was fine except for his useless progeny, who I still can't believe even had a girlfriend, let alone a fiancee. I guess there really is someone for everyone.
"He fell".
Sonny didn't know anything about his medical history except "High blood pressure, dementia and he got his legs cut off". The only med he knows for sure is oxycodone; for chronic hip and back pain.
The man, I'll call him Buck, has pretty piss-poor short term memory. I get him triaged and into a wheelchair and into the waiting room with sonny to await registration.
Moments later, Ellen comes looking for me.
Ellen: "Did that son leave? This gentleman doesn't even know his address, poor thing. Did he leave a number?".
Me: "Nope. Guess he's gone. No forwarding address, either".
I put Buck into a room and help him get undressed. He has all kinds of information to give me; about how a motor vehicle accident cut off both his legs, but they were able to sew them back on. About how his wife died. About how he doesn't drive anymore. About how he used to be an electrician.
What Buck can't tell me is how he fell or where his useless son went.
Cripes was a little busy tonight. He's been working a lot lately, seems like every other shift I get to work with him. It was a while before he was able to see Buck. By then the useless son has returned
"I had to give the car keys to my fiancee". Really. How...interesting.
Useless son continued to be on his cell phone, in and out of the department. "I had to talk to my fiancee". Really. You actually have a girlfriend?
Shortly thereafter, another call to the fiancee; "I had to tell my fiancee my work schedule". Really. Yawn. Dude, I really don't give a shit.
Useless son doesn't have much of an idea about what actually happened to Dad, which prompted yet another call to....you guessed it..."my fiancee to find out what happened".
What a specimen. "I wonder what happened to my fiancee. I know she's here somewhere. Have you seen my fiancee? Tell my fiancee I'm looking for her. I have lost my fiancee, the poor baby".
Me: Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
Buck was fine except for his useless progeny, who I still can't believe even had a girlfriend, let alone a fiancee. I guess there really is someone for everyone.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Really??!
I thought I might share with you this nugget attached to my online classroom:
Tsunami Warning
At this time, although the tsunami conditions are continuing to be monitored, classes will proceed as normal.
Ok. Just to clarify:
1. The events in Japan are horrific and mind boggling; what does that have to do with a school located on the East Coast. Of the United States.
2. It is unlikely that the online environment will be affected, unless they want to blame tsunami on last week's electronic screwing over of a vast number of students due to non-existent "financial problem".
Seriously?
Tsunami Warning
At this time, although the tsunami conditions are continuing to be monitored, classes will proceed as normal.
Ok. Just to clarify:
1. The events in Japan are horrific and mind boggling; what does that have to do with a school located on the East Coast. Of the United States.
2. It is unlikely that the online environment will be affected, unless they want to blame tsunami on last week's electronic screwing over of a vast number of students due to non-existent "financial problem".
Seriously?
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