Power Up

It has been a rough week here in the northeastern US thanks to Snowtober, or the Hallow-easter.  Snow before Halloween, what's up with that.  Didn't care much that Trick or Treating was postponed since I didn't buy any candy, but I never get any kids anyway. The heavy snow caused downed trees, tree limbs and power lines snapped off, which shut down everything.  Power outages have lasted anywhere from several hours to days, with varying levels of inconvenience  Mine was out for 3 1/2 days, bad enough but not as awful as being without for 6 or 7 days.  Still, 3 days of cold, powerless, flushless captivity can get the best of anyone.  The generator was handy for running a little heater since our pellet stove was on the fritz, but is was mainly boredom and cold.  I spent hours in my car driving around to nowhere in particular.

The building where I work has quite a nice shower available for use in the evenings and was quickly dubbed "the spa".  The main topic under discussion at any gathering was, of course, power and the lack thereof. 
Early in the week, the questions were ordered thus:
1.  "Do you have power?" 2.  "Do you have a generator?".  3.  "Do you have heat?
Mid week:
1. "Did you lose power?"  2.  "When did you get it back?"  3.  "Do you have a generator?"
Late in the week:
1.  "Still no power?"  2.  "When are you buying a generator?"
After day 7 without power:
"You must be really pissed".

Ah, the generator.  A household must that never crossed my mind to procure before I moved to the Frozen Tundra.  When it comes to generators, there is an order of supremacy. First, there are the "haves" and the "have-nots".  People without generators are the have-nots, pitiful souls at the mercy of the elements, doomed to move to a hotel or worse, the in laws.  Those with the foresight and just plain good old Yankee common sense and Boy Scout-level of preparedness...well, obviously those are the haves.  As in having heat, water and flush toilets, a fridge, some lights, a way to charge the cell phone, DVD's for the kiddies who can't read or otherwise haven't the first clue on how to entertain themselves, and maybe even....the Internet".
(cue Angelic choir and Heavenly light).

It is not enough simply to OWN a generator,but rather how big it is and how it is utilized.  There is Generator Envy, the bigger and more powerful the better.   It is a guy thing.  Like cars, which I don't care about.

The top of the line, Whole House generator (again, cue Angelic choir and Heavenly light) apparently requires only an insignificant flick of a switch and presto!  You have power without skipping a beat.  It is pretty pricey, the top dog for generator supremacy. 

Many people go for the less expensive option, the portable, gasoline powered generator in order to plug a few extension cords.  It works just fine. The problem with a gas-powered generator, we discovered, is that in a widespread power outage GAS IS INACCESSIBLE BECAUSE IT REQUIRES POWER TO PUMP GAS.

There are alternative fuel sources like natural gas.  Mr. Ednurseasauras had already scheduled an electrician to install a transfer switch in the basement so that 6 or 7 different electrical...things... could be run off the generator without using 20 extension cords.  Unfortunately, it was scheduled for the day after we got our power back, but hey, we are all set if it happens again.  That, and the 40 gallons of gas he plans to have just in case. 

Of course, turning on the generator with this new set up could be dicey.  When the electrician left, Mr. Ednursesauras wanted to show me how to run it....just in case.
Me: "Nah, I don't want to learn right now"
Mr. EdN: "It's easy"
Me: "Yeah, right that's what you said about turning off the generator.  As I recall, you also said that about the snow blower"

I am envisioning two sets of launch codes, confirmation codes, a variety of pre-launch procedures and checklists,and simultaneous turning of identical keys to get the generator started.  After confirming, of course, that the power outage is genuine and not simply a drill.

Cry Me a River

I don't mind people using the Internet to look stuff up except when they are too stupid to use the information correctly, then try to tell me I'M the idiot. 

Ms. Dumass: "I have a severe lacrimation*"
Me: "You have....watery eyes?"
Ms. Dumass: "No!  Don't you know medical terminology??  I have a bad cut on my foot!"
Me: "Ah, I apologize.  I thought you said 'severe lacrimation'"
Ms. Dumass: "Yes, of course, that's what I said, a lacrimation!"

Some days it's just not worth bothering to try to educate nasty people who are dumber than a box of rocks.  Please don't use big words you don't understand, it merely serves to emphasize your stupidity.  Thank you. 


*For non-medical types, that would be an excessive secretion of tears.  Cut=laceration.  So very dissimilar.

Cautionary Tale

It's fine to help your kids with their science projects, but that doesn't mean  doing it for them. 

Mom cut herself with  a pair of scissors while cutting a twig so the 12 year old wouldn't.  Why she needed to use the scissors in the first place was beyond me since the project entailed creating a primitive tool.  I don't think primitive people used scissors to fashion tools.

As she received 5 sutures mom commented: "We better get an A on this project".

WTF?  I never got a lot of  help on my projects from my parents except to cart it to and from school.  Unless it involved power tools, then I wasn't allowed to use the chain saw.  Lame Styrofoam solar systems or exploding volcanoes were otherwise my responsibility. 

Once I had to do a working digestive system.  I traced my little brother's outline on a piece of plywood, then filled in the esophagus, stomach, intestines etcetera. My dad drew a profile (face only) of Lucy (Peanuts Lucy, not I Love Lucy...although THAT would have been interesting).  My little brother was upset that I put Lucy on his body but he got over it.  I got some plastic tubing that I stapled  gingerly on the plywood being careful not to poke holes in it.  Thus I was able to demonstrate the fascinating journey of food, using Kool-Aid, through the body from start to finish.  Everyone thought it was gross, but that's fourth grade for you.  I got an A on the project. "We" didn't get an A.

Got Flu for You

 It's official: "Go directly to the ER at the first sign of flu" season is upon us.

One guy wasn't feeling great, "felt warm" (um, his thermometer didn't work), kinda tired, and had a sore arm because he had a flu shot yesterday.  Perfectly healthy guy.  Came from work.  Home with common sense generic remedies.  I think the CDC should start keeping statistics on ManFlu.

I did three flu swabs today, and not a single one was positive.  Nobody was sick enough for the ER, trust me.

One mother of a 6 year old called first to make sure we did flu tests and we could give her kid Tamiflu if needed.  Yes to the test, no to the Tamiflu.  We don't stock it, and the pharmacies are closed now.  Call your pediatrician for flu guidelines, no I can't say whether we will or will not give it to your kid anyway.  The advice she ignored.  The kid wasn't really sick other than a low grade fever.  He was otherwise healthy. But he did have a birthday in a few days and mom's goal was that she wanted him healthy for the party.

Negative flu test.  No Tamiflu.  Cancel the party.

Being Nosy

A three year old little girl was brought in by mom.  "She stuck something up her nose"

Tonight's foreign body was a little piece of plastic that came out with relative ease.  I always have some fun with this kind of thing.  Sometimes the parents know what the object might be, sometimes not.  . 

Here are a few examples of the responses I have gotten when I asked the kiddo WHAT was up nose:
"An eraser!"
"Kleenex!"
"A Barbie shoe!"
"Playdoh!"
"A cat treat!"
"A flower!  I was smelling it and it just stuck there!"
"Nothing!  Just boogers!"

I trust you have seen the image of the little girl who suffered for years with recurrent sinus problems who, it turns out, had a safety pin lodged up there in her sinus cavity.  Google "girl with safety pin in nose" to see it, I'm too lazy to post a link.  It's an impressive example of the kinds of shenanigans kids can get up to when you turn your back on them for like, 2 seconds.  When I was a school nurse one of my favorite kindergarten teachers brought two adorable little 5 year olds fresh from the playground.

Mrs. J: "Lacey, tell Mrs. EdN why we came to see her today"
Lacey: "I put a pebble up my nose!"
Me: (coughing to hide a laugh) "Lacey, how come you put a pebble in your nose?"
Lacey: "'Cause it was little!"
Mrs. J: "Now, Gina, will you please tell Mrs. EdN why we came to see her?"
Gina: "I put a pebble up my nose too!  I was showing Mrs. J. how Lacey did it!"
Me: (really, really trying not to laugh but really, really not succeeding) "Oh, I understand.  So the pebbles are still stuck up your nose?"
Lacey: "No, mine came out!"
Gina: "Mine fell out when I sneezed!"
Me: "Well that's good.  Let me just look and make sure, then I'll call your moms.  No more anything up the nose though, right girls?"
Lacey and Gina: (in little sing-song voices) "Noooooooo!!
Mrs. J: "And why don't we want to put anything up our nose?"
Lacey and Gina: "Because it's BAAAAAAAAD!!!"

Definitely everything we need to know we learned in kindergarten, sometimes the hard way.