Whineurs

Some days people do nothing but whine.  I'm not talking about my co-workers.

1.  36 year old with ankle injury 5 hours before.  He wrapped it in an ace bandage, put his boot back on and continued to work for 4 more hours.  He had 11/10 pain which was unrelieved with a Percocet his brother in law had conveniently provided about an hour before.  I was hard pressed to find even minimal swelling.  Who goes straight from ace wrap to Percocet?  This guy who whined, body whined, whistled like we were pulling his eyebrows out with pliers and made a spectacle of himself.  On discharge he refused crutches because he had some at home, applied his own aircast for his non-fracture, and disputed the very generous prescription for Percocet 5/325 because "I just took the 30 mg and it didn't even work".  Get the fu*k out.

2.  50 year old male with back pain.  Oh and chest pain.  The back pain is 10/10 and consumed his total attention.  He also whined and body whined, and curled himself into a fetal position with ease while I tried to get an EKG.  He stated he was seen at Pseudocity ER last night for the back injury (he fell at work) and was only given Tylenol.  He gave up to the ER doc that he was taking percocet only because we were sending for his last ER record.

3.  32 year old male with testicular pain from a back injury.  He said it was a work injury.  This was his 2nd visit in 2 days.  He would not take his coat off, but Partner in Crime insisted that she needed to take his BP. He held his arm in a very specific way so that the underside was not in view.   The ER doc insisted that he get into a gown.  That was when he found the needle marks that he said was "caused by someone else doing it to him".  The girlfriend hung her head.

4.  38 year old female with cough and cold.  This qualified as Man-Cold.  "My friend says there has been a lot of flu around".  Yeah, in the next state.  She too whined and body whined and was pissed that we didn't have any Tamiflu to give her.

I expect men to be whiny, but woman, you pushed two pumpkin-sized offspring out of an opening the size of a silver dollar.  Please, please, please suck it up and be an example to these men.  You have set the women's movement back 50 years.

On Halloween...

For safety Halloween was, by decree, delayed for a couple of days, which was kind of too bad because the sky looked pretty spooky right about sunset. 
We were very lucky in this area. No flooding, minimal power loss for my street, not a lot of wind damage.  We only lost power for about 6 hours which was surprising since normally we lose power for days at a time.  With so much devastation along the East Coast we were very fortunate indeed.  I can't imagine how awful it must be for many communities, and how awful it is going to be for quite some time.  Here's hoping that all emergency workers stay safe.  

I'm over Halloween though.  I haven't had a single kid come to my door for the past 7 Halloweens living here north of the Arctic Circle.  I live on a cul-de-sac;  there aren't any school-age kids or street lights, and the houses are a good couple of acres apart and set far back from the street.  Even if we were one of those neighborhoods that attracted the sort of mini-van drive-by street-cruising Trick-or-Treat ninja mamas, they would still have to drive from house to house.  It's apparently not worth the effort or gas for a paltry candy haul.  As for me, I usually try to work on Halloween, but failing that Mr. EDNurseasauras I will go out for the evening.  It's the best time to go out because there aren't many kids or crowds in the restaurants, and we aren't out late enough to have to deal with the bar crowd.  It's also the best plan to avoid having my dog go ape-shit with the doorbell and having all that leftover candy around calling my name.  OK, so I'm a Halloween Grinch.  

And shoot me if I've never liked costume parties.  There's just too much pressure.

Here is a Costume Fail I came across at a flea-market last weekend.  

What the quack??

My dog had a better costume wearing her hunting season walking attire.

"Where is my beret?"

Even at work I never dress up.  I once wore my cap, but I don't have seasonal scrubs with cute little ghosts or witches.  I have nothing against them, it's just personal preference.  I'm more comfortable in boring scrubs.

Partner in Crime does all the decorating and acquired this little craft-fair felt sign to hang up at work.

Me: "It says HAPS-PY"

PIC: "No, it says HAPPY"

Me: "Clearly, there's an S in there"

PIC: "That's part of the pumpkin vine, see there's leaves on the stem"

Me: "Why would it be carved up with a face if it was still on the vine?"

Argument for argument's sake.

So...Hapspy Halloween, even if the police chief says no Trick-or-Treating until Friday.  Stay safe.

We Are Going to Need Some New Monkeys

This is a picture of a fenestrated drape.  It is sterile and, among other things, comes in a suture set.  It is made out of a kind of heavy paper towel type of material.  

The whole thing is sterile and kind of extends a sterile field.  If placed over say, a laceration that has been prepped and anesthetized, the laceration would poke through the middle.  This ensures that the suture material doesn't become contaminated by anything.  They are generally supplied by a manufacturer.  See that nice, neat, carefully centered hole in the middle?

Note that I said "middle".  Now, see this?

The hospital has been trying to save money by using making their own fenestrated drapes.  Clearly there are some employees unclear on the definition of "middle".

"Send this down to central supply with a note for the manager", said Gil.  "This is the 3rd one of these I have gotten today, that is so annoying".

To: Central Supply

Re: Fenestrated Drape

Houston, we have a problem.....

Cat and Mouse 2.0

Note: No mice have been hurt in the writing of this post

Our daytime secretary happened upon the newly placed mouse trap provided by the facilities people (not IT) and found...shriek!...A MOUSE.  She hyperventilated for awhile, then came up with an action plan.  Leslie picked up the trap wearing two pairs of gloves and stepped out the ambulance bay door into the shrubbery adjacent to the ER all the while saying Ew!  Ew!  Ew!  Ew!  While she felt a bit squeamish about rodent rescue, especially before she had her coffee, she didn't want it dead or suffering.  At first, she gingerly shook the trap to dislodge the mouse off the sticky stuff at the bottom of the trap.  When that didn't work, she shook a bit more vigorously.  Finally she managed to get the lid off and tossed the live mouse into the brush; Leslie was shrieking, the mouse fairly silent as it ran off into the woods probably to warn the rest of his mousey friends.  Traumatized, Leslie made herself a cup of coffee and sat down with a bagel.  I don't know about the traumatized mouse.  It has been at least 3 weeks since the traps were placed, now long forgotten by facilities.  These traps are apparently going to be there forever.  Naturally we have had a little bit of fun with them.

Helpful hints

No mice have been even remotely attracted to this.  

Meet Pull-Toy

I have another student.  Yes, the powers-that-be have given me another young mind to mold and shape as I desire (insert evil laugh).  Bless her little heart.  It is pretty much a 2 month job shadow, but I can probably at least get her to change beds and fill ice packs.  Fun.

Last time I had a high school intern for more than a day she spent about 6 weeks mostly doing her homework; rather, she doing hers and me doing mine.  On her second to last night I gave her a syringe and a couple of 10ml vials of normal saline and taught her how to draw it up and remove the bubbles, etc.  She wore out the syringe doing it over and over and over; it kept her busy for about 2 hours.

Her final critique of the experience: "EDNurseasauras taught me how to put water in a syringe with a needle and take out the bubbles.  It was the best thing".  She had a whole little presentation on it.  I am famous at the high school.

Sigh.  (sniff).  They grow up so fast.

My new little pull-toy hasn't decided on nursing or medicine or what the hell-all she wants to do, which is great.  Her mind is like a fresh batch of cotton candy.

Pull-Toy wants to see and do it all and have lots of experiences.  I reminded her to journal and pick out the best and worst stuff of every night mostly because I thought I should be able to give someone some homework for a change; yeah I know, power trip.  Actually it would make her life easier when she has to do a presentation at the end of the year for her class.

Most of the doc's are pretty good with students, and when it isn't really busy will let them watch suturing and stuff.  I thought I would start Pull-Toy off with watching me apply a finger splint and went off to the closet to fetch it.  When I came back, Mac was quizzing Pull-Toy about which joint she thought would be proximal and which one distal.  I sent her off to look for tape instead.

Me: "Mac, maybe we should teach her the bones first before we worry about joints"
Mac: "Oh, yeah sure, wouldn't you learn that in nursing school before you start clinical exposure?"
Me: "Yeah, probably, but she doesn't graduate until June"
Mac: (astonished) "Eight months or so from graduation and she hasn't finished anatomy?? How can that be?"
Me: "Um, well she's a high school student"
Mac: "Ohhhhhhhh.  Ok.  That's cool"