I discovered that irrepressible Kate, my newest partner in crime had created the latest time wasting activity (in addition to coming up with songs for my "ER Complaint Soundtrack", more on that another day). It was a list of bogus initials to use when we input EKG's. It should be entertaining when the EKG wench calls to berate us for somehow managing to screw up and make all kinds of work for her. The list includes:
Doing EKG's is kind of time consuming because there is lots and lots of important patient information that has to be typed in. In an actual emergency, it is possible just to put "911 chest pain" in and edit the particulars later. Because there are two different sets of 9 and 11 digit identifiers, on occasion there might be an error. Or a misplaced letter when we type it in (no scanners here). We make every effort to be accurate with these, but what can I say: we are human. Instead of merely making the changes in the EKG department where each study is wirelessly received (the wonders of modern technology!) the evil EKG troll has a hissy fit, way down in the EKG cave where she resides. I don't thing she sees daylight, or humans, that often. She will frequently file an error report and/or call us. She lacks adult social skills big time, and has a tendency to screech. I handle this type of rude telephone behavior with my usual professional skill. I simply hang up.
"This is EDNurseasauras, how can I help you?"
"YOU GUYS HAVE SENT 4 EKG'S THIS WEEK WITH MISSING OR INCOMPLETE INFORMATION!"
"Call me back when you are calm and can speak to me like a professional". Click.
Kate: "Did you hang up on EKG again?"
Me: "Yep. She still hasn't learned, but I remain hopeful"
Ellen, 30 seconds later: " EKG is on the phone. She wants to talk to whoever hung up on her. She didn't sound happy"
Me: "Ellen, was she rude to you? Seriously??" (I get really pissed when people are rude to Ellen)
Ellen: "Oh, well, heh heh. She was a little....high strung I guess"
Me: "This is EDNurseasauras. I will not tolerate your rudeness to me OR my staff. If you can lower your voice and communicate respectfully I'm happy to hear your complaint. "
YOU...YOU...YOU'RE ALWAYS HANGING UP ON ME! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH OF MY TIME THIS WASTES WHILE I...."
Me: "Look, I'd love to chat with you about the logistics of your job, but mine involves actual patient care. In fact, I'm going to do CPR right now since my partner is signalling me to get off the phone. Have a nice day".
Kate (grinning and shaking her head): "Lady, you do love to poke that bear in the cage, don't you?"
Me: "That's no bear, it's hardly a trained monkey. But she does have opposable thumbs....I think".
The next call was from the nursing supervisor.
Supervisor: "EKG troll called me to complain that you keep hanging up on her"
Me: "Yes, that's true, but only twice today. Let me ask you: she was shouting, wasn't she? How long did it take you to calm her down so that you could get the story out of her?"
Me: "That's what I thought. I was perfectly polite to her, but she continued to use a raised voice and unprofessional communication technique. So I terminated the conversation. I will be happy to talk to her if she acts like a big girl. Please have her read her telephone manners guide. She needs to calm down before she pops an artery or something"
I understand that her job doesn't involve much actual communication with people, but you would think that someone who has been working in this place for 10 years would be better trained. Perhaps the Clip Boards simply throw her a piece of raw meat every once in awhile, who knows.
So, getting back to the initials. Today I just used "SOB". I think EKG troll would agree with that.