Saturday, June 8, 2013


Ellen: "I can't believe somebody ate all my "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
Me: "Unbelievable"
Pirate: "She is sufferering from Half-a-deck-a-cardia"
(as in not playing with a full deck)
Patient's Significant Other: "This is an emergency!  Why isn't anybody getting all excited??"
(as in life-threatening finger boo-boo)

Let me just add a personal  note to this last one:  the more excited you get, the less excited I become.  And I think I can speak for most ER nurses and add a  sidebar to the general public:  If I AM excited, you had better be afraid.....very afraid.
Partner in Crime: "Why do people call the ER when they have been sick for three days and ask if they should come in?"
Me: "Because when you are a douchebag, the world is your oyster"
Me: "So how many sutures was that in total" (for charging purposes of course, like we don't have better things to do
Parvati" "Well, three on the outside of this one, no, four.  Um, 16"
Me: "So....I guess I should figure the value of X?"
T-shirt of a wonderfully vibrant, health and active 80 year old woman: "In Dog Years, I Would Dead Now"

1 comment:

Phoenix Fire Falconry said...

Gotta Love those "wonderfully vibrant, healthy and active 80 year olds"! In my limited experience (4 years as an RT) I've treated some patients who are 80s and 90s plus, but have lived an active life, and are only down for a little while with some pneumonia, or some such. You would not guess they are their age. Then you get the 50 and 60 year old chronic smoker, and they look like they should be 150 or 160. Or dead!