Thursday, August 8, 2013

I've Just....Checked Out

I worked a princess shift in return for a favor from Partner in Crime, which got me home in plenty of time to eat the Chinese food that I had picked up on my way.  It was too hot to eat,  I mean thermally, quite a new experience and quite nice I must say; most occasions when I order out at work I get to eat it 2 hours later.  Which means cold.  At the restaurant, the hostess at the desk greeted me by name, which is probably an indication that I have ordered there a little too often.  Ah, well.  Stress eating continues unabated.

So I've been mourning this whole loss of job thing for about a month now.  I am stuck at angry.  Kind of.  When did filling out applications become so tedious?  Does anybody really care that I made $5.50 per hour in my first job after passing my boards?  Is it even relevant?  Does anybody who works in human resources have opposable thumbs or return phone calls?  Do nurse managers really let these people do the hiring?

Rumors, rumors, rumors.  Never mind a No Spin Zone, there is not even gravity with nothing concrete from management, which has somehow decided that my entire department was unworthy to participate in the employee satisfaction survey.  Mine would have been just as negative as the last one, but wow.

I have cast my net wide in my search for employment.  My co-workers and I have exchanged information for the purpose of references, each of us naming the others "charge nurses", which is bullshit because we are all charge nurses and collect the whopping $1.50 per hour on an equal basis.  Hopefully we won't be called on any jobs for which more than one of us are apply.  That would be  Awwwwkwarred!!! Only two of us seem to be actively searching, but there isn't much out there.  I even bullied Gil into giving me his phone number for a reference with the promise that when we worked together over the weekend it might improve my attitude.  Don't hold your breath on that one, bro.  He laughed and told me it would all work out OK.  Umm, nope.

I have pretty much lost my sense of humor at work.  No, I am not OK.  I'm not OK with any of this. My attitude sucks, and I don't see any improvement coming in the next weeks.   I seem to lack the gene for seeing the glass as 1/2 full right now.  I am disengaging, putting paid to this chapter in preparation for moving on.  I kind of just do that, I might talk to people for months, a few years perhaps.  Mostly my work friends have just faded into the past with the exception of one or two whom I regard as most likely to call if I need to bury a body; you might not see them for a few years, but you know they will always come running.  It's harder this time because the community is disintegrating and scattering to the four winds; there will not be any core group of people to return to or visit with.


I have mentally just....checked out.


suetvp said...

Lay offs of RN's happening in upper Midwest also...being replaced with LPN's...the opposite of what they did years ago. I went to phone triage after 30 years of running the floors took its toll. Finally someplace I can use my brain instead of my back.

EDNurseasauras said...

Wow. This facility fired all the LPN's awhile back. Glad you found something else that makes you happy!

James Thompson said...

My wife has the night shift and it can be brutal on her (and our relationship). The key is to not let it get to you and to continue to try and improve your life, knowing you have a job that pays the bills.

With that being said, it is stressful. I found this article for her that has really helped us out. If you're a nurse that works late, here are some tips on tips for nurses to make it through the night shift.

Susan said...

Beg for an Endoscopy job...

I did it years ago for 6 years. Then traveled out to home health when the kid got involved too much in school and couldn't do weekend call anymore. Workers Comp case management followed for 8 years, then sweet talked my way into Endo in a small hospital. Love the hours, there is some diversity ( but not as much as floor work). But then, it's an 8 hour day(my gratitude for that is endless). You can still provide patient care, get home at a decent hour, and have a life.
What could it hurt? Ok, the occasional joke about working in the Butt Hut is annoying, but I am laughing all the way to the time clock at 3:30.

EDNurseasauras said...

Thanks Susan! Haven't heard the Butt Hut reference, pretty funny ('round here we call it the Bum Look-up Department). Keeping options open and not stressing anymore…appreciate your comments