Sunday, December 16, 2018

Saving fil

One of my favorite PA's is Fil.  It rhymes with Phil.  He's a good guy, careful, doesn't get rattled.  He's very funny in a dry, Sonoran Desert kind of way.  He is also one of the few providers who not only reads ALL the notes, but scrutinizes the medications and past medical history.  He sees me heading out to triage, and rubs his hands in gleeful anticipation.  Well, for him gleeful is a silent nod or raising his eyebrows.

"How's the storm out there?"  Meaning the waiting room.  "What kind of trouble are we getting into today?"

I do all I can to get a reaction out of Fil.  It makes my day.  

Fil appreciates when my triage contains nothing but a rambling quote.

Fil: "So I enjoyed your triage note.  I think you were trying to say she was crazy".

Me: "Yep".

I had a patient who is well known for her bat-shit craziness and over the top hysterics.  In the dead of winter, she managed to get a fish hook stuck in her thumb.

She, as usual, plunged into hysterics, begging the registration clerk to see a doctor  right away because of the horrible pain and serious nature of her injury.

Apparently her cat jumped up on the table while she was sorting and organizing her fishing gear.  Fluffy absconded with a triple hook lure, the hook embedded in the patient's hand when she tried to take it away.

I kept the triage note brief, eschewing punctuation.

"Fishing lure embedded in thumb while trying to catch a cat"

Coffee spewed.  Mission accomplished.

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