Still alive here. Still employed for now.
After many crappy weeks I have learned a few things about how people cope with situations over which they have no control.
I listened as all but one of my coworkers speculated fruitlessly about every aspect of the anticipated changes. The mysterious changes. Sooooo secret. Very few details were shared and for months all we heard was "we don't know". The most important, the "when" has finally been settled. I will be done soon, as will most of my friends. Instead of the promised seniority rule and the same pay, every nurse was invited to apply for one of the few positions, without any guarantee, for fewer hours and benefits. Oh, and to work 12 hour shifts. Or take severance. It's Plan B for me.
Most of my co-workers stayed in denial for a long time, trusting that the company would make good decisions for their employees and the community, "live the mission", do unto others, treat their people with honor, integrity, compassion. I knew immediately that was not going to happen so I never went into that little bubble that might have safeguarded my sanity for a little while. Me? I went right to angry and stayed there...while also grieving. I eventually came to the realization that the really hard part was having absolutely no control over what the hospital does. The bad decisions they make? So what. I won't be working there. I went to one interview with the attitude that I could care less if I got the job. It was too far away anyhow, but I needed to do it just to get it done. It's been over 3 months. I guess they don't want me as much as I don't care if I get the job.
I will be happy to collect my nearly 500 hours of earned time and "generous" severance pay. After 500 hours the accrual ceases. I will be about 2 hours shy of 500 hours. I will also enjoy not working Christmas.
A tremendous burden has been lifted now that the specter of death no longer nebulously looms thanks to a confirmed date of execution. I have become the unaccustomed ray of fu*king sunshine at work while my colleagues sing the blues, wring their hands and play the "what if" game. I am happy and joyful, my sense of humor fully restored. Tra-la-la.
Jane (my boss):"Who are you??"
Oddly, not one of the nurses bailed. We optimistically filled out our schedules through the holidays although I put "ha! ha!" next to the notation that I was working New Years Eve. We are 2 1/2 docs down, the departed being unwilling to sail on the Titanic II. Wisely recognizing that the band is playing "Nearer My God to Thee" while the deckhands put out a few more chairs, they were not buying the pig in a poke that the ship was unsinkable. My response to that:
"She's made of iron, sir! I assure you, she can... and she will. It is a mathematical certainty".
The Pirate moved on to greener pastures, one doc has 1/2 foot out the door from pure apathy, and another is on medical leave. That leaves us with plenty of shifts with Parvati and too many with Bobo. Bobo still talks to his clavicles and continues to be a non-joy to work with. I have perfected the fish-eyed stare and monosyllabic response when he is around. I will not miss Bobo.
I will not miss this dysfunctional employer so much.
I will miss my friends.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
I've Just....Checked Out
I worked a princess shift in return for a favor from Partner in Crime, which got me home in plenty of time to eat the Chinese food that I had picked up on my way. It was too hot to eat, I mean thermally, quite a new experience and quite nice I must say; most occasions when I order out at work I get to eat it 2 hours later. Which means cold. At the restaurant, the hostess at the desk greeted me by name, which is probably an indication that I have ordered there a little too often. Ah, well. Stress eating continues unabated.
So I've been mourning this whole loss of job thing for about a month now. I am stuck at angry. Kind of. When did filling out applications become so tedious? Does anybody really care that I made $5.50 per hour in my first job after passing my boards? Is it even relevant? Does anybody who works in human resources have opposable thumbs or return phone calls? Do nurse managers really let these people do the hiring?
Rumors, rumors, rumors. Never mind a No Spin Zone, there is not even gravity with nothing concrete from management, which has somehow decided that my entire department was unworthy to participate in the employee satisfaction survey. Mine would have been just as negative as the last one, but wow. Just...wow.
I have cast my net wide in my search for employment. My co-workers and I have exchanged information for the purpose of references, each of us naming the others "charge nurses", which is bullshit because we are all charge nurses and collect the whopping $1.50 per hour on an equal basis. Hopefully we won't be called on any jobs for which more than one of us are apply. That would be Awwwwkwarred!!! Only two of us seem to be actively searching, but there isn't much out there. I even bullied Gil into giving me his phone number for a reference with the promise that when we worked together over the weekend it might improve my attitude. Don't hold your breath on that one, bro. He laughed and told me it would all work out OK. Umm, nope.
I have pretty much lost my sense of humor at work. No, I am not OK. I'm not OK with any of this. My attitude sucks, and I don't see any improvement coming in the next weeks. I seem to lack the gene for seeing the glass as 1/2 full right now. I am disengaging, putting paid to this chapter in preparation for moving on. I kind of just do that, I might talk to people for months, a few years perhaps. Mostly my work friends have just faded into the past with the exception of one or two whom I regard as most likely to call if I need to bury a body; you might not see them for a few years, but you know they will always come running. It's harder this time because the community is disintegrating and scattering to the four winds; there will not be any core group of people to return to or visit with.
So.
I have mentally just....checked out.
So I've been mourning this whole loss of job thing for about a month now. I am stuck at angry. Kind of. When did filling out applications become so tedious? Does anybody really care that I made $5.50 per hour in my first job after passing my boards? Is it even relevant? Does anybody who works in human resources have opposable thumbs or return phone calls? Do nurse managers really let these people do the hiring?
Rumors, rumors, rumors. Never mind a No Spin Zone, there is not even gravity with nothing concrete from management, which has somehow decided that my entire department was unworthy to participate in the employee satisfaction survey. Mine would have been just as negative as the last one, but wow. Just...wow.
I have cast my net wide in my search for employment. My co-workers and I have exchanged information for the purpose of references, each of us naming the others "charge nurses", which is bullshit because we are all charge nurses and collect the whopping $1.50 per hour on an equal basis. Hopefully we won't be called on any jobs for which more than one of us are apply. That would be Awwwwkwarred!!! Only two of us seem to be actively searching, but there isn't much out there. I even bullied Gil into giving me his phone number for a reference with the promise that when we worked together over the weekend it might improve my attitude. Don't hold your breath on that one, bro. He laughed and told me it would all work out OK. Umm, nope.
I have pretty much lost my sense of humor at work. No, I am not OK. I'm not OK with any of this. My attitude sucks, and I don't see any improvement coming in the next weeks. I seem to lack the gene for seeing the glass as 1/2 full right now. I am disengaging, putting paid to this chapter in preparation for moving on. I kind of just do that, I might talk to people for months, a few years perhaps. Mostly my work friends have just faded into the past with the exception of one or two whom I regard as most likely to call if I need to bury a body; you might not see them for a few years, but you know they will always come running. It's harder this time because the community is disintegrating and scattering to the four winds; there will not be any core group of people to return to or visit with.
So.
I have mentally just....checked out.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Due to Budget Constraints, the Light at the End of the Tunnel Has Been Extinguished
It's all about the Benjamins (or in our case, the Georges). My little ER, without any concrete plans except "it's going to happen", is going Urgent Care at some point in the next 3 or 4 months. I will be out of a job.
No need for critical care nurses in that setting. Certainly they can get cheaper staff. Hours of operation will be slashed. There will be one nurse. Good bye, lab peeps. The will only need phlebotomists. See ya, X-ray techs. You're losing hours as well. Congratulations PT you get to keep your jobs.
Stress eating at work has become the new hobby, along with speculation, gallows humor, and the stages of grief. We sent Beth out for ice cream the other night and she came back with three gallons, along with hot fudge, whipped cream and potato chips. Screw the ice cream, chips dipped in hot fudge with whipped cream? DELICIOUS!!!
I have to say that the one silver lining is that my resume is updated annually at tax time, so I am in a better position than some of my colleagues who haven't had one in years.
I'm sad. I'm not ready to job hunt at age 58. I can't physically do 12 hour shifts.
My job has become a Death Watch.
No need for critical care nurses in that setting. Certainly they can get cheaper staff. Hours of operation will be slashed. There will be one nurse. Good bye, lab peeps. The will only need phlebotomists. See ya, X-ray techs. You're losing hours as well. Congratulations PT you get to keep your jobs.
Stress eating at work has become the new hobby, along with speculation, gallows humor, and the stages of grief. We sent Beth out for ice cream the other night and she came back with three gallons, along with hot fudge, whipped cream and potato chips. Screw the ice cream, chips dipped in hot fudge with whipped cream? DELICIOUS!!!
I have to say that the one silver lining is that my resume is updated annually at tax time, so I am in a better position than some of my colleagues who haven't had one in years.
I'm sad. I'm not ready to job hunt at age 58. I can't physically do 12 hour shifts.
My job has become a Death Watch.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Thank You...
...to patient satisfaction surveys and Press Gainey for giving the public the means to bitch when their every wish is not magically granted in the ER. Too bad Dr. Google doesn't have office hours because THAT is some sound medical practice. I'm sorry....you didn't get that MRI Dr. Google recommended? What a shame. Your best friend's sister's boyfriend the veterinary tech said you needed Percocet for that two week old sore ankle? Oh pooh. Your mother convinced you that you needed antibiotics for that cold? Tsk Tsk. I want, therefore I will get it.....NOT necessarily.
My boss handed me a survey today with a scathing review of the individual's care. I was the nurse.
He had punched a wall but lied to me and told me he fell down. I knew it was bullshit but I generally leave it to the provider to explain why some little knowledge of physics is required in order to fabricate a mechanism of injury. In other words telling him his story is bullshit.
"I don't want to call him", Jane said. She is responsible for calling all the bullshit whiners and people who are verbally abusive to staff and squeaky wheels in general in order to make them feel like we deeply regret that their 10/10 pain was not sincerely addressed. This is in accordance with Bible of Upper Management Bullshit, specifically the Crap According to Clipboarders verse:
'Your wife will become a harlot in the city, your sons and your daughters will fall by the sword, your land will be parceled up'
oh, sorry, wrong one. This is it:
Accordingly, being less than truthful with minimal outward damage and negative xrays will not garner one an automatic narcotic pain prescription. So the respondent went home with a prescription for Motrin and was pissed off.
"That Dr. XX was a moron. All I got was a $150.00 bill and MOTRIN!! Who goes to the ER and gets Motrin??? I am telling everyone I know that the care SUCKS there. But the nurse was OK"
I am sure it was waaaaaaaaay more than $150.00.
File this under "Things that will ultimately reveal themselves to be Galactically Stupid ideas. Sort of like this, which has been bothering me for quite some time:
Thank you, NASA....for sending this into the solar system and including our address, so that extraterrestrials might visit us in our naked and unarmed glory with raygunz and sh*t
This message was obviously sent out before they voted Pluto out of the Solar system. We'll send that correction right out.
My boss handed me a survey today with a scathing review of the individual's care. I was the nurse.
He had punched a wall but lied to me and told me he fell down. I knew it was bullshit but I generally leave it to the provider to explain why some little knowledge of physics is required in order to fabricate a mechanism of injury. In other words telling him his story is bullshit.
"I don't want to call him", Jane said. She is responsible for calling all the bullshit whiners and people who are verbally abusive to staff and squeaky wheels in general in order to make them feel like we deeply regret that their 10/10 pain was not sincerely addressed. This is in accordance with Bible of Upper Management Bullshit, specifically the Crap According to Clipboarders verse:
" and unto them a discount shall be given"
Accordingly, being less than truthful with minimal outward damage and negative xrays will not garner one an automatic narcotic pain prescription. So the respondent went home with a prescription for Motrin and was pissed off.
"That Dr. XX was a moron. All I got was a $150.00 bill and MOTRIN!! Who goes to the ER and gets Motrin??? I am telling everyone I know that the care SUCKS there. But the nurse was OK"
I am sure it was waaaaaaaaay more than $150.00.
File this under "Things that will ultimately reveal themselves to be Galactically Stupid ideas. Sort of like this, which has been bothering me for quite some time:
 |
| "Hey, does this solar system make my ass look big?" |
This message was obviously sent out before they voted Pluto out of the Solar system. We'll send that correction right out.
You're It
I have decided not to do any more EKG competencies because they are stupid and a waste of time. Screw that. This is my last one:
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