Procrastination

I have been taking courses to finish my BSN for 3 years now. Since I had a busy summer planning my Alaska trip and also needed to take 2 CLEP's, I put off my final course until October.

October looms; I had a wonderful trip to Alaska with Mr. Ednurseasauras, got out in my kayak a bit, spent lots of days at the lake, and studied very little for the CLEP exams. Lazy? Maybe.

I could spend the next week studying like mad, and probably pass both CLEP's so that I could start my course the first week of October and then graduate in December.

I just can't face it. I'll take the CLEP's then start the last course in January!

Quickquotes

"I just remembered that I am allergic to oxycodone; could I get Percocet instead?"*





*same thing

Beginning of Flu Season?

Since last week, between a local epidemic of Salmonella and perceived flu-like symptoms, I have washed my hands 7,542 times (they are ready to fall off). I have lost one really nice pen thanks to the assbag who sneezed on it while she signed her discharge instructions; now I religiously use hand sanitizer on my pen after anyone uses it. If they are really grubby individuals I use another pen and throw it away. If I don't even want them to touch the pen at all, I scribble something indecipherable myself in lieu of their signature and hand them the copy. Yeah.

I have also de-bugged my stethoscope and shoes (don't ask) approximately 3345 times, had to chaperone too many pelvic exams to count for STD's, and collected several stool cultures. Therefore, I am so not looking forward to mining flu swabs once it is determined that the flu season has officially begun. How does one collect a flu swab? I'm glad you ask. Please keep this in mind before running to the ER with a cough and sniffles.

We wear a mask, of course, and gloves. Then we take a slim Q-tippy apparatus on a very narrow bendy wire and PLUNGE it deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep into the nostril where it stays for about a minute. It sucks big time, although I will say most women tolerate it better than men for some reason.

Everyone is far less afraid of Swine flu, or more accurately, the H1N1 flu (thanks to the pork industry and their SWHIning) than they were last year. CVS has advertised the availability of flu vaccines in their stores for about a month now, way ahead of the primary care offices; who knows when they will begin booking appointments for that. I think it is still too hot out for people to worry about flu in this neck of the woods, but come the first lighting of the wood stove the onslaught will begin with a vengeance.


Yes, it's nasty. Yes, people feel lousy. For the most part it is not the end of the world; regardless of how much you feel like you are dying, the odds are good that you won't.

We've had a number of patients with fever, cough, sore throat. None sick enough to be seen by their PCP, and certainly not sick enough to go to the ER to be told to rest, take Ibuprofen, and drink fluids 'til you are better.

So we put a mask on all the coughers, and have resurrected the Altar. Gotta protect our secretaries.

Today's Last Patient of the Night

At 10:41 PM, a 20-something female wanders in to be seen.

1. Cold symtoms 2. Foul vaginal discharge, and 3. Sore tatoo

She had no primary care provider, no insurance, and no driver's license or other identification.

Pick one, please; "Have it Your Way ER" closes at 11:00 PM

Second in Command (SIC) has some issues. She has no authority over anyone except by virtue of being the boss's best friend. Lisa, Mikki and I can't stand her. Lisa has a tendency to make snide comments about the number of "love notes" SIC leaves for everyone. WTF? There are 10 nurses who work here. There is absolutely no need for most of these idiot notes.

I don't mind an occasional reminder if I've forgotten something, but you can usually count on SIC to leave a mountain of notices; they are never about clinical issues, but about the myriad busy work/ non-clinical/ secretarial-type tasks that have been simply forgotten. Believe me, none of these things are terribly important, at least when you compare them to taking good care of the patients and getting that part right.

My typical I-don't-give-a-shit attitude occasionally gets me into trouble. After finding about 1/2 dozen notices one day, I started leaving little notices of my own; I pretty much went postal with Post-It Notes.

On a memo: "who writes this shit?"

On a notice reminding people not to clock in before 5 minutes prior to the start of shift (we have two, day shift and evening shift mind you): "if the day shift insists on clocking out at ten minutes of 3, I will be clocking in to take report. Thanks again for withholding raises this year".

On a sign up sheet for a hospital sponsored community health day (thank you, marketing) on a Saturday: "do we get paid for this fiesta? and will that include weekend differential?". The response was an exasperated "YES!" by my boss.

On a reminder for a UAC (Unit Advisory Meeting, more Magnet bullshit):
"boycotting UAC's until raises are reinstated".

On a note reminding nurses to keep the blanket warmer filled: "sorry, we ran out of blankets so we just filled it with paper towels; hope it helped!"

On the Wall of Death (there have been a number of deaths of staff and relatives in the last couple of years; some of which I have written about in previous posts. All the death notices and pictures of the deceased are on a bulletin board in the kitchen, which is macabre and depressing. I made Dan promise me that if anything happened to me that he would prevent any posting on the Wall of Death, but the bastard quit): "please, this place is depressing enough. It is time to remove this memorial"

Note: the Wall of Death was dismantled. In its place is now the "Circle of Life", which has graduation pictures of some of our staff and kids. Much better.

One Saturday when SIC was off, Sherry and Mikki surprised me with a GINORMOUS sign, decorated with stickers and art work "EDnurseasauras, please sign the narcotic sheet! Thank You! Love, Mikki and Sherry. This was clearly a case of ragging on SIC.

I laughed for 10 minutes, I thought it was hysterical. Mikki and Sherry were a little nervous that I would be offended. Me?, Nah. In fact, i told them that we should leave it up except for the fact that it was covering the opening to two cabinets. Too bad!